You know that moment—you’re scrolling through social media and suddenly everyone seems to have the perfect Thanksgiving.
Perfectly decorated tables.
Perfectly dressed kids.
Perfectly smiling families with zero tension in the room.
Meanwhile, you’re staring at a sink full of dishes, a slightly dry turkey, and a family situation that… doesn’t look anything like those photos.
If comparison has been stealing your joy around the holidays, you’re not alone.
But this year, you’re allowed to do something different.
1. Name What Hurts Beneath the Comparison
Most of the time, comparison is a symptom—not the real issue.
Underneath it, you might find:
- Loneliness (“I wish I had a family like that.”)
- Grief (“We used to celebrate like that, before everything changed.”)
- Insecurity (“If my house/meal/life looked like that, I’d feel more worthy.”)
Instead of shaming yourself for comparing, get curious. Ask:
- What does that picture stir up in me?
- What do I feel like I’m missing?
- Where do I need comfort more than judgment?
Invite God into that place, not just the surface-level jealousy.
“God, this is what I wish I had right now. Can You meet me in this longing and remind me that I’m still loved and seen?”
2. Remember: You’re Seeing a Moment, not a Marriage or a Life
Social media shows us a snapshot—not the whole story—and often it’s pretentious.
Behind every perfect Thanksgiving photo:
- Someone argued in the car.
- Someone is worrying about money.
- Someone is grieving a loss they don’t post about.
When you compare your unedited life to someone else’s curated moment, you’ll always feel like you’re behind. You’re not. You’re just seeing different angles.
Quick reset when scrolling:
“I’m looking at a moment, not the full story. My life is allowed to be real, messy, and still meaningful.”
If social media feels extra loud this week, it’s okay to mute, unfollow, or take a break. Protecting your peace is spiritual wisdom, not weakness.
3. Create Your Own Quiet Traditions
Maybe your Thanksgiving doesn’t have a big crowd.
Maybe your family is complicated.
Maybe this year looks completely different from “before.”
Instead of trying to copy someone else’s holiday, create tiny traditions that feel right for you:
- A gratitude walk after breakfast, where you notice small gifts: the air, the light, your own breath.
- Write a simple prayer in your journal before you start the day.
- Lighting a candle for someone you miss and thanking God for their impact on your life.
- Watching a comfort movie after dinner and letting yourself fully relax.
Your Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look impressive to anyone else to be sacred.
4. Practice Gratitude for “Enough” Instead of “Excess”
Comparison thrives on excess—bigger, better, more.
But God often meets us in the quiet thankfulness for enough:
- Enough food for today.
- Enough strength to get through this week.
- Enough support to keep going when life feels heavy.
Try this reframe:
- Instead of: “I wish I had a bigger house for hosting.”
- Say: “God, thank You that this home holds my life, my memories, and today’s meal.”
Gratitude doesn’t mean you never want more; it means you honor what you have while trusting God with what you don’t.
5. Bless Your Own Story—Out Loud
There’s something powerful about speaking life over your current season.
Try saying this over yourself:
“My Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be valuable.”
“God is writing a good story with my life—even in the chapters that feel unfinished.”
“I bless my journey, my growth, and my small beginnings.”
The more you bless your own story, the less power comparison holds.
Final Thoughts
This year, you don’t have to chase the picture-perfect holiday.
You’re allowed to choose presence over performance, peace over pressure, and gratitude over comparison.
Your table—no matter how small, mismatched, or imperfect—can still be holy ground if love, honesty, and God’s presence are welcome there.
Release the pressure to match anyone else’s highlight reel.
Your real, lived, imperfect Thanksgiving is enough.
Here’s to gentle growth, bold dreams, and a soul full of light.
~Kay~
Helpful Resources
-
- 5 Daily Affirmations for a Calm Start
- Gratitude or “no-compare” devotionals in the YouVersion Bible App
- A simple “joy list” in your Notes app to log small, real moments you’re grateful for throughout Thanksgiving week
I really appreciate this, Kay. It’s such an honest reminder for this time of year. It’s so easy to slip into comparison—especially when every “perfect” holiday photo shows up the moment we’re feeling overwhelmed or not enough. But what you shared brought my heart back to a place I often forget: God isn’t looking at the decorations, the table setting, or how smoothly the day goes. He’s looking at the heart sitting at that table.
What stood out most to me was the idea of naming what hurts beneath the comparison. That hit home. Sometimes it’s not envy at all—it’s grief, or loneliness, or just wishing life still looked like it used to. And yet, even in those tender places, God meets us with comfort, not criticism.
I also love the reminder that social media is just a moment, not a whole life. We never see the arguments, the stress, the broken places… just the highlight reel. But God walks with us in the unfiltered parts—the dishes in the sink, the imperfect family dynamics, the small beginnings.
This line really spoke to me: “Your table can still be holy ground if love, honesty, and God’s presence are welcome there.”
Yes. That’s the kind of Thanksgiving I want to create—one where His peace matters more than picture-perfect moments.
Curious to hear what others think:
What’s one small tradition or quiet moment that helps you refocus on gratitude and God’s presence during the holidays?
Jason, thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection. I love how you captured God meeting us in the “unfiltered parts”—that’s exactly the heart behind this post. ???????? Your vision of a table filled with honesty, love, and God’s presence is beautiful, and I’m grateful you shared it here.
Love that question as well. For me, it’s waking up early before everyone else, lighting a candle, and spending a few quiet minutes with my Bible and gratitude journal—just thanking God, one simple thing at a time, before the day gets busy–and it will get busy.